


Protected

by loeweneckerchen



Category: The Fall (TV 2013), The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Dana Scully, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Panic Attacks, Protection officer Dana, Slow Burn, Witness Stella, alternative universe, bisexual stella gibson, but also police officer Stella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loeweneckerchen/pseuds/loeweneckerchen
Summary: Protection officer Dana Scully is assigned to watch over DSI Stella Gibson, who recently disappeared during an investigation, as she recovers.
Relationships: Stella Gibson/Dana Scully
Comments: 22
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that came to my mind. I've never written anything in English before and would be thankful for any feedback. 
> 
> I hope you like it :)

„We’ve successfully moved DSI Gibson to a safe location. The protection officer she’s been assigned just arrived and I’m now going to brief her.“ 

In the hallway she can hear the sounds of the radio, footsteps coming closer. There’s a knock on the door and seconds later a woman in her mid twenties enters the kitchen.  
„Good evening, Dr. Scully“, she extends a hand towards her. Her knuckles are littered with fresh scratches and the smile that accompanies the gesture seems strained and tired. „Do you mind if I smoke?“ She does not wait for an answer, pulls a squished box of cigarettes and a box of matches out of her pocket. 

Save for some phone calls they have never talked to one another, have never met. Scully only knows her voice, the posh accent and her nickname. Violet.  
It’s only been a few weeks since she has reached out to Scully. Right after she had been removed from her workplace. 

„Do you want one too?“  
The cigarette between her lips, the tip of the match going up in a flame. Her tense expression relaxes slightly as she takes the first deep inhale. 

„I’ve quit“, Scully responds. 

„So have I“, Violet smiles again and this time her clear, blue eyes sparkle along, „On to business, then. Prior to her recovery in Dartmoor today DSI Gibson had been missing for three full days. As of now we don’t know, what happened to her during that time. Once she is responsive again I want you to check her for other injuries…the male doctor we had at the scene could not get close to Gibson without causing her a severe panic attack. She is still unconscious from the sedative we had to administer.“ 

„Okay.“  
Scully wonders what kind of woman she will encounter once she goes upstairs, how she will react to her. She doesn’t know, how she even ended up here in the first place.  
When she had left the FBI and moved to London, she had sworn to never set a single foot into the world of intelligence again. Yet here she is. The young woman across the room flicks the ashes from the cigarette into the sink…she must be a security service agent. Scully is certain of it. 

„Can you do that for me, Dana?“  
Her head snaps up at the sound of her first name.  
„I know that things haven’t been easy for you lately.“ 

When have things ever been easy? Years ago. Before she joined the FBI. 

„Of course I can do it“, she says and hopes that she sounds more certain than she feels. I have to do it. 

„I’m glad we’re working on this together.“ 

So is Scully. Even if she does not say it out loud. At least this job gives her something to do. She swallows the lump in her throat and looks at the tips of her shoes, tries hard not to think about the reason she is here. You can come back once your mental health has improved.  
She thinks that since being put on medical leave she has never been further from going back to work than the last week or so.  
„You’re a good doctor, a good agent. But I requested you for a different reason“, she takes a drag from the cigarette, exhales slowly, „Because you understand the situation Gibson’s in. I think she will respond well to you. A strong woman, someone who’s easy to trust.“ 

„What do you really want from me?“  
It’s clear to her, that there must be something else. Something more than simply protecting this police officer and assessing her injuries. 

„I need to know what happened to her. Every little detail“, Violet takes a step towards her, looks her directly in the eye. The air of authority that surrounds her becomes overwhelming. „She might be an extremely valuable witness.“ 

„Which is why you want 24-hour protection for her“, Scully is suddenly uncomfortably aware of the weight of the gun that is attached to her belt; she has not carried one in years. 

Silence stretches between them. Her eyes wander trough the room. One of the walls is painted in a muted sage green, the surfaces are meticulously clean. There is a street lantern in front of the window casting a golden light onto the sidewalk and the dark sedan with the blacked out panes. At some point during their conversation it had started to rain. 

„I’ll do the grocery shopping for you. You can write a list. I’ll also call you every day at four pm to check up on you“, the young woman puts a yellow sticky-note up on the fridge, „If there’s anything else you need, anything at all, call me. No matter the time.“ 

„Okay.“  
Scully senses the end of Violets visit. A part of her wants her to stay a little longer, just until Gibson regains consciousness. The other part wants her to leave, so that she can crawl in bed and forget everything for the rest of the night. 

„Good. I’ll hear you tomorrow then“, she smiles and turns to leave. At the door she stops and looks back one last time. „You will call me, if Gibson acts strange or seems off, won’t you?“ 

„I will.“ 

„Good night, Dr. Scully.“  
And with that she is gone. Scully stays in the kitchen for a few more minutes, watches Violet walk across the street before she disappears into the darkness.  
The house is dead silent and she thinks about turning on the TV to block out the silence. She is alone once again. 

On her way upstairs she checks the front door, locks it twice — just to make sure, she tells herself. Save for the two bags with her stuff and the heavy wool coat she has brought with her, the hallway is empty. No decoration, almost no furniture, devoid of any personality.  
Scully toes of her heels, so that she can take the hardwood stairs without making too much noise. 

On the first floor it is exactly the same. One of the doors —the one furthest from the stairs, she notices— is closed and she assumes that it must be the room they have put Gibson in. She is more curious about the woman than she would like to admit and makes a mental note to look for her before she goes to bed.  
The room Scully picks for herself is just as dull as the rest of the house. A queen-sized bed with sheets matching the sage green color of the wall in the kitchen, a decently sized closet and a small desk below the window that faces the back yard. She has had worse accommodations. If everything works out she will only be here for one or two weeks; nothing she can’t manage. 

She pulls the curtains closed and starts to undress. Since being constantly stuck at home her body has softened a little and yet she’s not sure if she likes it or not.  
The silk of her pajamas is cold against her skin. She doesn’t bother to take of her make-up or brush her teeth that evening. Her limbs feels heavy and she would be ready to crawl under the covers any second, still she leaves the room one last time, pads barefoot across the hallway to look after Gibson.  
Did Violet even tell her what Gibsons first name is? 

Scully opens the door carefully.  
The bedroom has the same layout as hers. A strip of light falls onto Gibsons face…her full lips slightly opened, a strand of her blonde curls sticking to the corner of her mouth and a cervical collar around her slender neck. She is still dressed in a pair of dark slacks that sports a large smudge of mud and blouse that shimmers silky.  
For a second Scully thinks of undressing her or to at least open the buttons of her blouse and pants to make her more comfortable upon waking up. Then she remembers the panic attack Violet told her about and decides not to do it.

She does not want to make the woman feel unsafe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or a comment! :) 
> 
> I hope I got Stella right and you like this chapter! 
> 
> tw: panic attack

The strange sensation of something stiff wrapped around her neck, making it impossible for her to move her head.  
As she stumbles to get up, her hand brushes against something cold and she hears the sound of glas shattering, feels a cold liquid touching her bare feet. She can’t breathe, desperately gasps for air. She is going to drown again, she thinks and the sheer panic that seizes her seals her throat shut. Hot tears stream down her face.

She wants to scream but her jaw is so tense, she can’t form a single word. Instead a strangled sob leaves her lips.  
The lights gets switched on and she scrunches her eyes shut, does not want to see what is going to happen to her next. 

„Do you hear me?“ 

She does, she hears the gentle voice of a woman. But her muscles are so tense, it’s impossible to talk. 

„I’m Dana“, the woman says. _Dana_. „I’m your protection officer…we’re at a safe house.“ 

A painful sob rips through her body.

„I want to get the neck brace of of you. But I’ll have to touch you for that.“  
The stiff collar around her neck is being removed.  
„You’re doing great. Try to focus on the sensations around you.“ 

The smell is actually the first thing she notices. That it’s a mixture of laundry detergent and some kind of perfume rather than the intense stench of disinfectant that has burned itself into her nose. Cold hardwood flooring beneath her, the warm body of another human in close proximity. The rapid thumping of her heart slows down a little.  
Her eyes flutter open and for once she’s not blinded by neon lamps. 

„Just like that…“, Dana is crouched down in front of her, observes her attentively. Her make-up is smudged, reveals the freckles on her nose and cheeks. She is clad in a pair of silky pajamas, doesn’t wear socks either. Tresses of fiery red hair have slipped from the loose bun she’s sporting, frame her slender face.  
„What’s your name?“ 

„Stella“, she whispers. 

„Stella. Do you think you can get up?“ 

She nods mutely, lets Dana wrap one arm around her upper body to support her while she shakily gets to her feet. A searing pain shoots through her left ankle as soon as she puts some weight on it and she gasps. 

„Are you in pain?“

Is she in pain? Other than her sore ankle there is a dull ache in her left hip, that speaks through her body, and Stella thinks she’s going to have a headache because the muscles in her shoulders, neck and jaw are still uncomfortably tense.  
„Some.“ 

Next to them there are shards of glas and a small puddle of water on the floor…she must have knocked it over and somehow the sensation of the water had sent her into a panic attack. This has never triggered her before.  
Stella doesn’t unterstand. 

„What happened to me?“, her lower lip quivers and a single tear escapes her eyes. The thought of having lost a crucial part of her memory terrifies her; more so than she would ever admit out loud. 

„I don’t know, Stella“, Dana rubs her back soothingly, „I don’t know what happened to you. The security service found you in Dartmoor this morning. Do you remember what you were doing there?“ 

This she does actually remember. She had been following a promising lead in a missing persons case — without the partner they had assigned her after the disaster in Belfast. _That’s absurd, Gibson. There is no way intelligence was involved._ So she had gone on her own. How long ago was that?  
Something must have happened since then.  
She could kick herself for being so careless.

„Investigating.“ 

The redhead maneuvers her to sit on the edge of the bed, tucks a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. „Do you want to change into something more comfortable?“ 

„Yes, please.“  
It makes her sick how much she depends on this woman. Stella Gibson does not need help from someone else. Even when that someone is a seemingly kind and quite good looking protection officer. But then Stella Gibson also does not lose parts of her memory just like that. 

On the other side of the room Dana is rummaging through a large suitcase and Stella busies herself with the small buttons of her blouse so that she can watch her without being to obvious about it. She does actually wear a holster with a gun over her loose top and it gives Stella an idea of just how slim the body underneath the oversized garment must be. 

Does she really not know what happened to her? It doesn’t seem logical to place her with a protection officer who has no knowledge about her at all.  
Even though it would be easy to do so, she does not trust her — maybe because it somehow feels a little too good to be true, a little too easy. However she doesn’t have an actual choice right now. 

Dana comes back with one of Stellas comfy flannel pajamas and puts them on the bed next to her. „Are you okay with me taking a look at your ankle?“ 

„It’s fine now.“ 

„Why don’t you change while I get something to clean up?“  
She does not wait for an answer, simply stands up and leaves the room. Stella’s absurdly thankful for the privacy. 

As she slips the blouse of of her shoulders, she notices some strange bruising in the crook of her arm. Blue and yellow splotches mar her skin and upon further inspection she discovers needle punctures along them. 

She tries hard not to ponder on them, shrugs off her slacks instead. Her ankle is slightly swollen and on her hip there’s a large bruise blooming on her pale skin.  
Stella feels the painful tension in her jaw and shoulders return, just as her protection officer re-enters the room. 

„Look at me, Stella.“  
Danas voice is firm but gentle and she instantly snaps back to reality. She sits down next to Stella, tenderly strokes the skin at the nape of her neck…it’s surprisingly pleasant.  
„I’ll help you get dressed. 

She doesn’t move as Dana opens the clasp of her bra and slips it off her body. If her eyes stay on her breasts longer than it would be appropriate, she does not notice. The few times she actually touches Stellas bare skin while she pulls on the long sleeved top and pajama pants feel very professional and somewhat distanced, don’t hold any meaning. Just like a medical professional would touch her. 

„Do you want something to help with your anxiety or the pain?“ 

The thought of being unconscious and completely helpless in the presence of a stranger is not a comfortable one. But she desperately wishes for some peace of mind, a few hours to allow her body to relax. 

„I understand if it makes you uncomfortable“, Dana adds quickly and something about the way her voice goes up slightly makes Stella believe her, „I can stay with you until you fall asleep, if it helps.“

„Okay.“ 

Dana leaves again to get the medicine and a fresh glass of water. When she returns, she asks Stella to switch on the light on the bedside table and turns off the big overhead lamp. She sits on the edge of the bed again as Stella swallows the pills and settles under the covers.

„That’s it“, a soft, somewhat relieved smile settles onto Danas lips and it makes Stella feel warm all over.  
Only her father had ever been allowed to care for her like that, to get this close to her. Sometimes she misses the feeling but she tries not to enjoy it too much, because she knows it will be temporary for Dana is only doing her job. 

The last thing she feels before sleep finally consumes her are Danas fingers caressing her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) 
> 
> If there are any horrible mistakes (English is not my first language) or you have suggestions for this story, please tell me!  
> See you next time :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for leaving kudos & comments! :) 
> 
> I kind of struggled with this chapter, haha...I hope you like it anyway.  
> The next one might take longer as I have finals for the next two to three weeks.

Waking up in the morning is much more pleasant. It’s not the sound of shattering glas and the DSIs desperate gasps for air that wake her but the rays of cold autumn sun that fall through the blinds and touch her face. 

Scully yawns, rubs her eyes. This time she recognizes the room she’s in instantly…in the night it had taken her a few moments to remember where she was.  
The safe house she is stuck in for the foreseeable future; together with a high ranking police officer she has to protect. _Stella._

With her mind still lingering on the blonde she changes into a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater, slips the holster over her chest. It’s strange to carry a gun after all those years and she hopes that Violet does not overestimate her ability to shoot a possible attacker. 

She silently makes her way downstairs, back into the kitchen.  
The room feels even colder than last night and Scully shivers slightly, moves to turn up the heat on the radiator. 

While her coffee brews she wanders off to the living room. In contrast to the kitchen and the upstairs bedrooms it actually feels lived in and at least a little cozy. A folded blanket on the dark blue couch, postcards of famous paintings hung up on the wall over the dining table…the walls are painted in a light cream color and on one of the shelves in the media console Scully spots a few board games. The floor is covered in a rug with big flecks of yellow, green and blue and she’s not sure wether she thinks it’s somewhat fitting or just downright horrendous. 

A few minutes later she sits down at the dining table, takes a small sip of her coffee. Her stomach growls loudly and she remembers that the last time she ate was almost 24 hours ago.  
Why is she so incredibly bad at taking care of herself? Back to the kitchen then to fix some kind of breakfast. 

She walks in on Stella helping herself to a cup of coffee. How she managed to get down the stairs so silently with her injured ankle and the bruising on her hip is truly a mystery to Scully.  
Careful to not startle the woman she clears her throat. Still she jumps slightly, even though it’s obvious she tries to suppress it.  
„Good morning.“ 

„Sorry“, Stella whispers. Her voice is raw and scratchy from sleep. She looks absolutely miserable, leaning against the counter in order to avoid putting any weight onto her left foot, her face is ashen and she looks like she hasn’t got a decent night of sleep in days.  
„I’m sorry I woke you. That you had to take care of me like…like I’m a child.“ 

It pains Scully how deeply ashamed Stella seems, how she can barely meet her eyes.  
„We don’t even know each other“, the words are accompanied by a cold, self-deprecating laugh and Scullys heart aches for her. 

„It’s not your fault. These things just happen.“  
She recognizes the urge to apologize for this kind of thing, recognizes the tightness in Stellas neck and shoulders, the way she wraps both of her arms around her torso, rubs them subconsciously in an attempt to soothe herself. 

„I know. But you still can’t help thinking they are“, Stella flashes her a tight smile, „What do you usually do?“ 

Is it so easy to tell she’s out of her depth?  
„I’m a doctor…but before that I was with the FBI.“  
Internally she braces herself for the next question, the one that will inevitably come up: _how did you end up here?_ How did she end up being put on leave for mental health reasons until further notice? How did she catch Violets attention?

Somehow Stella senses her discomfort, doesn’t ask any further and Scully is immensely grateful for that.  
A strange silence settles between them as they both sip their coffee. What is there to say, really? They are two strangers caught up in the mess of some secret service operation. 

„Dana?“ 

It’s weird to hear her first name and out of habit, she wants to correct Stella at first. She hasn’t been just Dana to anyone in what feels like forever. But then she decides that it doesn’t feel too bad.  
„Yes.“ 

„Do you really not know what happened to me?“  
The switch in her tone surprises Scully and she instantly knows she’s not talking to Stella, the distressed witness but to Stella, the cool and controlled Detective Superintendent. She sounds so certain of herself, so autoritative and composed. 

„N-no“, Scully stutters, „They haven’t told me anything.“  
The fact that she can tell that this is a front Stella is putting up to protect herself doesn’t make her any less intimidating. 

„Mhm. You know…it’s hard for me to believe you.“ 

_I wouldn’t believe myself either if I was you._  
„I understand“, she says instead. The turn their conversation has taken is not one she likes…it feels like she is being interrogated. 

„You don’t“, Stella snaps and Scully flinches at the anger in her voice, „You have no fucking idea what it’s like to loose pieces of your memory. To be all alone with this shit.“ 

The words hit her like bullets and for a moment she thinks, she might cry. Because that’s what she is right now: alone with her messed up brain, locked up in a house with a woman that does not trust her at all. And it has been like this countless times before.  
The feeling of relaxation she felt upon waking up is gone. 

She must have looked just like she feels, for Stella is suddenly right next to her, tentatively reaching out to touch her shoulder.  
„I’m sorry. I just have a hard time trusting you.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it :) if there's anything I can do better or you have any ideas for this fic I would appreciate some feedback :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter so far :) 
> 
> I hope you like it! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or a comment! Always keeps me motivated to write :D

Stella actually feels sorry for snapping at Dana.  
Wether that is because she saw the pained look on her face at her words or just because Dana is her only chance to get any type of information right now and she’s already done everything to piss her off and in reality feels sorry for herself, she doesn’t know. It must be a combination of both. 

Her stomach starts to feel queasy again as she slowly sips her coffee. She cautiously eyes the redhead on the couch. Curled up, a cup of coffee and a plate with some barely touched, lightly buttered toast in her lap. Her eyes stare aimlessly into space and Stella wonders how one ends up with this kind of assignment. 

Stella notices the small pieces of dried leaves still hanging in her messy blonde locks. She moves to brush them away, sees that there are a lot of small scratches on her palms. It looks like she fell down and tried to catch her fall…yet another detail she does not remember.  
The loss of these memories leaves her feeling anxious and vulnerable. Just like she felt after Paul Spector had read her dream-journal. 

„I’m taking a shower“, she announces into the silent room. Her scalp is itchy from the amount of grease on the roots of her hair and even though she can’t exactly smell herself, Stella suspects that she stinks as well.  
She feels disgusting. 

„Do you need help with that?“

She probably does.  
And would it really be that bad to accept help from Dana again? It hadn’t felt too bad when she had helped her getting dressed in the night. Also she would only humiliate herself even more if she declined now and later ended up slipping in the shower or something.  
But she can’t bring herself to admit that just yet.  
„I’m fine.“ 

„You can call for me, if something comes up“, Dana smiles at her and goes back to nibble on her toast. 

While she’s still in Danas sight, Stella clenches her jaw with every step she takes to not accidentally gasp in pain.  
The ankle must have gotten worse overnight and it throbs more than when she made her way down the stairs earlier. Getting up will be even worse and just thinking about the pain she’ll have to endure almost makes her turn around and ask Dana to help her up.  
Almost. 

In the end she struggles her way up the stairs alone. It takes forever and at the end of her journey there’s a thin sheen of cold sweat forming on her forehead and her chest is flushed from exhaustion. 

She leans heavily onto the wall while she ungracefully hobbles over to her room. By the time she gets down to her knees next to the suitcase to pick out fresh clothes for the day, she also feels a dull ache spreading from her hip and she longs to get under the warm spray of the shower. 

A soft, white cashmere jumper and a pair of leggings. The way her suitcase is packed makes her think that a woman selected these items for her…the content is different from the one in the suitcase she took to Dartmoor, she’s certain of that.  
Comfy pieces mixed with more elegant and formal ones, socks and underwear sorted into different pouches. She picks out a pair of fluffy socks and the dark, high waisted panties she usually only wears when she’s on her period. 

With the clothing and the bag of toiletries under one arm, she carefully makes her way back out the door. Downstairs she can hear Dana talking on the phone…lets her calm, soothing voice wash over her.  
If she didn’t know better, she’d never thought of her as a secret service agent. Somehow it doesn’t fit her. 

_„Hang on a second, I’ll ask her.“ ___

__A few seconds later, Dana is coming up the stairs and Stella tries very hard to look like she didn’t just eavesdrop on her call.  
She seems surprised to see Stella in the hallway, but doesn’t comment on it — yet. _ _

__„Would you prefer Italian or Chinese takeout for lunch?“_ _

__Strange.  
The thought of food makes her stomach turn…but from her previous interactions with Dana, she doesn’t think she’ll let her get away with a no.  
„Italian.“ _ _

___„Very well“, _the caller answers, _„I’ll be around in about half an hour. Goodbye, Dr. Scully.“ _  
The line goes dead after that.____ _ _

______Dana furrows her brow, shakes her head in frustration.  
„Sorry“, she says, shoves both of her hands and her mobile into the pockets of her jeans, „That was Violet…our handler. It appears she has some new information that she wants to share. She doesn’t tell me much.“ _ _ _ _ _ _

______„Mhm.“  
She was right about Dana potentially being a medical professional. Which brings up the question how she ended up here in the first place.  
It also seems like she isn’t the only one who is being kept in the dark about all of this. _ _ _ _ _ _

______„I know you said no before, but…do you really don’t want me to help you?“_ _ _ _ _ _

______„Uh…“, Stella shifts uncomfortably on the spot, feels her neck and cheeks flush in embarrassment. Theres a good chance Dana will notice the scars on her thighs and she’s not sure if she’s ready for that just yet. „I…I don’t want to impose on you.“  
God, the stuttering makes her feel even more embarrassed. _ _ _ _ _ _

______„You’re not.“  
And with that Dana is by her side, carefully wraps one arm around her waist in order to support her weight. _ _ _ _ _ _

______Even tough it is not the first time they’re so close to one another, it’s the first time Stellas mind is clear enough to notice more of the small details about her protection officer. The dark circles under her eyes, not unlike Stellas, she’s unsuccessfully tried to cover up with concealer, the freckles that litter her porcelain skin…a hint of apple scent, her shampoo or conditioner perhaps. Beneath Danas jumper she recognizes the outline of a gun._ _ _ _ _ _

______The bathroom is bigger than she’d anticipated, houses not only a shower that easily fits two people but also a bathtub. Under normal circumstances Stella might have been excited about the possibility of taking a soak but now all she can think of is the fact that a little water touching her foot had been enough to sent her into a full blown panic attack.  
The water is the only possible trigger she can come up with. _ _ _ _ _ _

______Dana has already put her things up on the vanity, everything meticulously organized by size.  
„Can you get undressed on your own?“ _ _ _ _ _ _

______„Sure.“  
So she clumsily takes off her pajama pants and top, holds onto the radiator for stability while she does so. The bruising on her hip has become worse, ugly purple and yellow splotches mar her pale skin. _ _ _ _ _ _

______„Would it be okay if I brushed your hair before we get into the shower?“, Dana looks up and they catch each others eye in the mirror above the large sink, „Might make it easier to wash it.“_ _ _ _ _ _

______Her hair is a mess. Which is why Stella put it up in a loose bun; it still looks like it hasn’t been properly brushed in days and the roots are disgustingly oily. How did she get to this? She would never look like that voluntarily…which means something, or someone must have prevented her from doing something about it. The thought makes her shudder.  
„If it doesn’t gross you out.“ _ _ _ _ _ _

______„It doesn’t“, Dana smiles and gestures for Stella to sit down on the closed toilet lid, browses through her things to find a hairbrush, „I used to work as a pathologist…it takes a little more than some greasy hair to gross me out.“_ _ _ _ _ _

______„Pathologist turned secret service agent?“_ _ _ _ _ _

______„Something like that, yeah.“  
A strange expression crosses her face and it makes Stella think, Dana would like to avoid further discussion on this topic. _ _ _ _ _ _

______Dana pulls her hair loose from the bun, carefully threads her fingers through the strands before she starts to patiently brush out the knots and tangles one by one. There are a lot of them and her touches make Stellas scalp tingle in a pleasant way. The last person to brush her locks like that had been her father…a lifetime ago.  
A comfortable silence settles between them and she lets her eyes fall shut, enjoys the moments of peace and quiet. _ _ _ _ _ _

______By the time Dana is finished with her task, Stella is so relaxed, she could fall asleep any second.  
„I’ll make sure the temperature is okay and then you’re ready to go.“ _ _ _ _ _ _

______She watches as Dana turns on the water and holds one hand under the spray until she’s satisfied.  
„Okay…let me just take this off real quick.“ _ _ _ _ _ _

______Unlike herself, Dana turns around to get undressed. Stella takes in her slender body, the curves of her waist and hips, notes the way her ribs and vertebrae are visible beneath her porcelain skin as she moves, the way her muscles twitch…she must be exercising regularly, might be a runner. At the small of her back she has a tattoo, but from the distance Stella can’t really tell what the motive is._ _ _ _ _ _

______„Come here“, Dana extends one hand towards her, motions for her to take it and step closer to her._ _ _ _ _ _

______Their fingers intertwine and Stella allows herself to be led under the shower. The warm water instantly soothes her aching muscles. It feels good.  
Even better, when Dana starts to wash her hair. Her short nails gently scrape across her scalp as she works the apple-scented shampoo into her locks and Stella bites her lower lip to suppress the soft sigh that is threatening to escape, holds tighter onto Danas shoulders.  
This has always been a weakness of hers. _ _ _ _ _ _

______She can tell Dana is trying to discreetly feel for injuries around her head, while the water rinses away the foam._ _ _ _ _ _

______„Do you want to wash your body yourself?“_ _ _ _ _ _

______„You can do it.“_ _ _ _ _ _

______Stella closes her eyes, tries to suppress the uneasiness that accompanies her words. _I have to gain her trust, if I want this to end. _And if part of gaining Danas trust means to let her get close now, Stella is willing to do so.  
It irritates her a little, how hard it seems. Because the only thing they share right now is physical closeness…just like one of her one night stands. She has a physical and emotional need and Dana is the one to satisfy it. That’s it. Nothing more. ___ _ _ _ _ _

________She feels Danas soapy hand glide down her side, imagines that her touch washes away all the bruises and aches.  
Just like that. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________„I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.“  
She doesn’t know where that one comes from, but the words leave her mouth before she can think about them properly. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________„It’s okay“, Danas touches come to a halt and she squeezes her waist lightly, „I know that it’s scary to loose parts of your memory. To not know what might have been done to you.“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Stellas chin and lower lip start to tremble slightly. Behind her eyelids she feels the familiar sting of tears threatening to fall. She feels so violated and helpless.  
Her emotions are one fucking mess, she has no control over. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________„It’s okay, Stella“, she repeats, lightly stroking her back, „It’s okay to feel like that.“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A single tear slips down her cheek and seconds later a painful, heart wrenching sob rips through her body. Stella presses one hand over her mouth, unsuccessfully tries to muffle the sounds coming from her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________„I don’t _want _to feel like that.“___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I'm not sure, wether Stellas behavior makes a lot of sense right now... :') 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of the chapter! I'm grateful for any kind of feedback :)  
> Also: if you have any whites/ideas for future chapters, let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

Dana carefully wraps both arms around her, pulls her closer until Stellas head rests on her shoulder and their bare skin touches. They stay like that until she has calmed down, until Dana finishes washing her body. 

After her emotional outburst she’s seized by a bone deep exhaustion once again. Her limbs feel heavy and her brain is finally so tired, that she can’t focus on her fear and confusion any longer. It’s a good thing. A sense of calmness, even though the anxiety is bubbling just below the surface and she knows it could clutch her again any second. 

„If it gets too bad, you can take some light medication again“, Dana touches her upper arm lightly, turns off the water. 

„Yeah“, she says but in her mind everything screams No. 

Stella allows her protection officer to wrap her in a fluffy white towel, allows her to dry her off. It feels like there is no strength left in her. And while that feeling of helplessness scared her out of her mind and made her want to fight earlier, she now can’t bring herself to do anything about it. She also realizes how it’s becoming harder to mistrust Dana. So far she’s been nothing but kind to her and there is zero evidence that she might want to harm her. 

„Do you want to put on lotion?“

She shakes her head.  
Dana brushing her hair and helping her shower Stella could easily justify. These actions were more or less necessary, basic hygiene, and she’s not prepared to let Dana come any closer than strictly necessary. She isn’t prepared to do that with anyone, really. 

They get dressed next to each other in silence.  
Upon pulling the cashmere sweater over her head, Stella notices that Dana has turned away from her once again. She’s wearing a matching set of simple, nude underwear and is bending over to retrieve something from her cosmetics bag…a bottle of lotion. 

„You don’t mind if I…?“, Dana makes an awkward gesture.  
Her voice sounds nervous and she moves to cover her stomach with her arms. 

„No“, she smiles encouragingly, notes the look of relief that crosses Danas face before she turns around. This woman truly is a mystery to her. Confident and assertive in one moment, insecure and somewhat shy in the next one. 

As she continues to get dressed, she keeps watching the redhead but tries to be less obvious about it. No need to spook her.  
The strong, warm scent of vanilla fills her nose.  
She suspects it’s a kind of ritual for Dana to comfort and calm herself, notes the way her hands linger and caress the places a lover or parent would touch in a soothing manner. Maybe she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing. It makes Stella think that Dana must be a very lonely person. A person no one would miss if she had to spend several weeks on this assignment.  
Strange. 

She enjoys the silence between them. It’s easy, comfortable. 

They slip out of the bathroom at the same time. Dana helps her down the stairs and by the time they reach the ground floor, Stella smells Italian pasta. Her stomach growls. She’s not sure if she’s hungry or needs to throw up.  
She can’t remember the last time she ate something. 

„Seems like we have a guest“, Dana raises one of her perfectly made brows at her. 

„And that would be me.“ 

Their handler is a tall, curvy Brunette in her mid-twenties and just like Dana, Stella would have never deemed her for a secret service agent in any other setting. She’s an attractive woman. Confidence radiates of her, fills up the space between them as her blood red lips twist into a gentle smile and she extends a hand towards Stella, completely ignores Dana next to her. 

„Detective Superintended. You look better.“ 

Her hands are covered in tight fitting leather gloves that match her black belt and heeled boots as well as the holster, that she’s wearing beneath her pale blue blazer.

„Who are you?“

„A very influential fan of your work. Especially the one you did on the Moon-case and the Belfast Strangler.“  
Her smile grows wider; it makes Stella think of the cheshire-cat. She instantly dislikes her. It’s hard to pinpoint why. It might be the air of superiority that surrounds her or the simple thought of Dana and herself being fully dependent on her. How she simply skips over Dana, doesn’t even acknowledge her presence.  
„You may call me Violet.“ 

_Violet. _  
Stella severely doubts it’s her real name, but it is something at least.__

____

„Is anyone hungry?“ 

____

____

Lunch is a quiet affair. 

____

Violet is obviously the only one who’s in the mood for food. While Dana picks at her salad and Stella has to force down each bite of her noodles, she not only cleans off two servings from her own plate in no time but also helps herself to some fruit after that.  
It disgusts Stella at first but then she thinks that her influential fan probably has an absurdly packed schedule and therefore has to use every chance she gets to squeeze in a meal. 

____

She also notes that Violet chooses to keep on her gloves. As if she wanted to avoid leaving fingerprints on the plates and her cutlery or anywhere in the house. 

____

„There is going to be a press conference in two hours“, she puts down her knife and fork, returns to her all-business-no-bullshit attitude, „And there are some news I don’t want you to find out about on TV.“ 

____

Dana crosses her arms in front of her chest, leans back in her chair.  
„How gracious.“  
Venom laces her words and the coldness radiating of her is deeply off-putting to Stella. It also reminds her that Dana is in fact a secret agent and not just the nice, caring doctor that she has experienced so far. 

____

Violet chuckles humorlessly, tilts her head to one side; her vertebrae crack lightly at the movement. It seems as though the temperature in the room drops down several degrees and a shiver runs up her spine. 

____

„What have I ever done to warrant this mistrust from you?“  
Her eyes widen slightly and Stella watches as her pupils contract in barely suppressed anger. She feels like she’s frozen to the spot, can’t do anything while the scene plays out in front of her.  
„I have been nothing but kind to you, Dana.“ 

____

„You keep me in the dark about what this whole mess even is about. You use me.“ 

____

„I was just going to tell you. But you…“, Violet gets up, towers over Dana as she leans forward. In a matter of seconds her body language shifts from relaxed towards threatening. „You seem to think that I’m the one you need to fight.“ 

____

Her voice stays calm and steady and Stella can tell it does nothing to calm Dana, only irritates her further. Stellas stomach twists into a painful knot.

____

„You’re gaslighting me. How am I supposed to trust you?“, she jumps up as well, gets louder with every word until she yells at Violet, „This is so fucked up.“ 

____

Anger flashes over Violets face. Her fingers twitch dangerously, as if she suppresses the urge to slap Dana across the face, the urge to grab her shoulders or her throat…Stella feels sick. 

____

Instead she slams her hand onto the table.  
Both Stella and Dana flinch violently. 

____

„Sit down, Dr. Scully.“  
Her voice is barely above a whisper, but that doesn’t make her any less threatening or intimidating.  
„Now.“ 

____

This is someone who is operating in the shadows, in dark corners, someone cannot be held accountable by a judge or the public. On occasion she encounters this kind of person in the line of duty. Not related to her last inquiry in Dartmoor, though. 

____

She moves to touch Danas wrist, to calm her down a little and indicate to her that it would be smart to comply now. Also she doesn’t think she could take it if their argument would escalate further.  
With the gaping hole in her memory she’s on edge already and since Spectors attack on her she’s become more sensitive to people raising their voice in her presence. 

____

Next to her Dana takes a deep breath, swallows and sits down. Her eyes stay fixated on the table in front of her and Stella dares to reach out for her again. The tips of their fingers touch briefly.  
She feels connected to her in a strange way, wants to comfort her in the same way she comforted her earlier. It’s the situation, she tells herself, she only feels this way because she’s emotionally unstable. 

____

„I actually have got some good news for you“, Violets voice is back to a normal volume, back to its calm and smooth tone, „We searched the place where we found you, DSI Gibson. It seems like you stumbled through the woods for quite some time…we’re certain that’s when you sustained your injuries. Do you remember any of that?“ 

____

„No. I don’t.“  
She’s relieved. No one did this to her. 

____

„What do you know about Porton Down?“  
It starts to feel like an interrogation, like they are slowly moving into a more dangerous territory. 

____

„I’ve read about it. It’s a government facility in Whiltshire…I think they did experiments on soldiers“, Dana folds her hands on the table, leans forward a little, „But I think you told me, you found DSI Gibson in Dartmoor.“ 

____

„I did, yes. As it happens there’s a very similar institution in Dartmoor…“

____

„No one would do that today. That’s absurd.“  
Stella truly believes it’s absurd. She’s seen a lot with her work but this…to her it sounds like some crazy conspiracy theory. No…there has to be a more plausible explanation.  
By the way Dana tenses up next to her, she suspects she’s the only one with this attitude at this table. 

____

„You can believe anything you want. I just thought I should alert you to the possibility.“Violet smiles again.  
„I didn’t want you to think I was keeping anything from you.“ 

____

It’s hard to tell wether it is a jab towards Dana or a peace offering. Just like her protection officer Violet is a strange woman. 

____

„Anyways…I brought the luggage from your hotel room in Dartmoor and an additional ballistic vest for each of you“, she stands up to indicate they are finished with their conversation, „Good bye, Dr. Scully, Detective Superintendent.“ 

____

And just like that, she leaves.  
The house is eerily quiet with her gone and the two of them sitting just sitting at the table in silence. Dana rubs her brow bone, covers her face with her hands…she looks incredibly tired and Stella can’t help but wonder if it’s got something to do with any of the stuff Violet brought up. Nothing seems to make any sense right now. 

____

„I’ll take a nap.“  
She feels a little worn out and wants to have some time alone to process everything. Why does she even have the urge to tell Dana what she’s doing? 

____

„Alright.“ 

____

Stella stands up to leave, is almost out of the door when she hears Danas voice behind her.  
„I’m sorry I overreacted earlier. It just reminded me of…“, she trails off, „I feel like she’s keeping something from us.“ 

____

So there is a _we _now. The first real acknowledgment that they are in this together.__

____

__„It’s fine. Nothing happened.“_ _

____

__„Thank you, Stella.“_ _

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We may be getting closer to the first revelation about what happened to Stella... :D 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left a comment or kudos, I really appreciate it :)  
> I struggled a little with this chapter & I'm also unsure wether my punctuation is correct, so I would be grateful for some feedback :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I would be thankful for comments or suggestions what you would like to happen :)


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